


The Dignity of His Choice

by oneatatime



Category: Kamen Rider Drive
Genre: M/M, Not the focus - Freeform, Post-Series, background Kiriko/Shinnosuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 01:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneatatime/pseuds/oneatatime
Summary: Post-series, Gou helps bring Chase back.Gou is pretty sure he has no damn right to bring up his own feelings at all.





	The Dignity of His Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaws_3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaws_3/gifts).



> Ignoring various other post-canon for Drive.

**Rebirth.**

Gou looked at the man standing in front of him. And yeah, he was a man. Not a thing. Not a tool. No matter what he was made of, inside. It’d taken Gou far too long to realise that, and he shook his head at himself. 

When Gou had left with a little Signal Bike in his pocket, it’d been with an odd mixture of guilt and acceptance, of dedication and absolute certainty that he should give up, that he’d be wasting his life just like Chase had wasted his (on saving Gou). He made himself do it anyway, because maybe it'd work. Besides, if he only ever did things when he felt good about himself, he'd never do anything.

Five months in Istanbul taught Gou about the value of a bargain, and gave him a lead on a specialist in artificial intelligence. 

Three months in Tokyo taught him what it was like to get accidentally absorbed by another group of detectives, and that Shin-niisan knew exactly where he was even if he took a while to check in. 

Six months in Brisbane gave him more information about neural networks, gave him passable English, and taught him how to surf. 

One day in Nagano brought him closer to home. 

Shin-nii, Rinna, and Neesan had been waiting for him at the airport. Neesan’s stomach was round, and his eyes bugged out to see it, but he got derailed very quickly when Rinna babbled in his ear. 

That’d only been two months ago (well – eight weeks, three days, and about six hours, but who was counting?). 

Rinna probably hadn’t slept at all in that time. Too busy putting together all the information he’d collected, carrying on discussions and arguments in two or three different languages simultaneously in various Skype windows, while also coding. She’d outfitted her station in the Drive Pit while he’d been away. There were extra terminals now, extra keyboards, probably a machine that went ‘ping’ and all kinds of other things that Gou didn’t understand at all. 

(Oh, and a cup holder. Busy scientists needed their coffee. Gou suspected Gen had been responsible for that, because it had RINNA spelled out in English writing on it, in rainbow stickers.)

“Chase,” Gou said experimentally. He was rewarded with a not-smiling smile. Just a little quirk of the corners of the lips. 

There were two happy gasps from behind Gou, and an audible smile from Shin-nii. A little beep from Krim at Shin-nii’s waist (yeah, Krim was back again). 

But Gou only had eyes for the man in purple in front of him. 

“Hello, Gou.” 

* * * 

**\+ 2 weeks.**

It was a gradual process, of course. Chase had all his memories, but it was taking time for him to be able to re-order 'em and understand 'em all. 

Shinnosuke plonked himself down next to Gou in the corner of the Pit as they watched Chase work through a physical drill with Rinna. He wore a black t-shirt, purple pants. Moving in slow motion to start with, doing simple movements. Touching his toes. Closing his eyes and touching his nose. Then progressing into more complicated movements, resulting in a one handed handstand. 

Shin-nii poked Gou in the shoulder. “You could just ask him, you know.” 

Gou folded his arms and gave Shin-nii what Shin-nii would probably call a sulky look, but really he was just looking like his normal self. Shinnosuke was being stupid, as usual. Pushy, as usual. 

“I already talked to him about how he’s been my friend all the time. And how I messed up. I apologised.” 

“Did he forgive you?” 

“Instantly!” Gou dragged a hand down his face. “He didn’t even look upset at me. He was just. Pleased. Told me I was kind!” 

“Right. So you didn’t ask him if he likes you like that, yet.” 

Without consciously meaning to, Gou found himself straddling Shinnosuke on the low black seat, with both hands clamped across the other man’s mouth. Shin-nii boggled comically up at him, eyebrows wiggling like two caterpillars arguing over a lettuce leaf. 

“I can’t ask him that!” Gou hissed. 

Shinnosuke somehow managed to pantomime that if he felt it, he should ask it anyway. 

“But it’s my fault he died!” 

Shinnosuke glared at him.

“...okay, it’s Banno’s fault he died, and I should allow Chase the dignity of his choice –“

(Shinnosuke really did watch too much Marvel. Gou wasn’t sure how many times he’d had that line quoted at him from the first Captain America movie.)

“- but I still can’t just put that on him when he’s only barely back alive again!” 

Shinnosuke shrugged at him, in a _I don’t think he’d mind you asking, and if you don’t ask you’ll probably never find out, but it’s your life even if I disagree with your choices and think you're an idiot, little brother,_ kind of way, and Gou sighed. 

* * * 

**\+ 7 weeks**

“Gou,” Chase intoned. “What would you like for lunch?” 

Gou ruffled the back of his head as he looked up at all the choices on the chalkboard next to the food truck’s serving window. 

“You don’t have to buy,” he protested half-heartedly. 

Chase shook his head. “You bought last time. I believe I will have the takoyaki this time, and a bottle of milk. What do you want?”

“To know why you’re not mad at me!” 

Chase blinked at him, then the young boy in the window hollered down at them politely to see what they wanted, and Chase proceeded to get two boxes of takoyaki. 

It was perhaps five minutes after that, when they were sitting on a bench overlooking the water, with the cool sea breeze nearly managing to alleviate the heat in Gou’s ears, that Chase spoke again. 

“I am not mad at you because you have not- haven’t – wronged me. You thought differently of me previously, though your positive feelings have existed for me for quite some time. You have since fought with me, and fought for me, and I have always liked your company. My memories are entirely in order once more, and I trust them. You have – you’ve explained it, Gou.” It was a really good attempt at contractions. It was also a really good attempt at talking to Gou the Idiot in a non-patronising way, that made sense. It wasn't that Gou didn't believe him, exactly. It was that Gou didn't know how the hell to deal with owing someone so much, when that someone didn't want to spend any time making him feel bad about it.

Go chewed another round ball of takoyaki, then screwed up his face, then chewed some more. He nodded, eventually, because what else could he do? The worst thing he could do right now was to tell Chase how he should feel, how he should hate Gou. That wasn’t respectful at all. That was... 

Yeah. That’d be treating him like a machine. 

He grinned suddenly, and bumped shoulders with Chase. 

“Okay. I’ll try and understand it.” 

* * * 

**+11 weeks**

The baby shower was horrendous, and wonderful, and hilarious because Shin-niisan kept being Shin-niisan. 

Neesan was perfectly cool and collected, and only looked flustered when Gou suggested that her best way of getting through the first few weeks post birth would be to tie Shinnosuke in a corner with a gag over his mouth because otherwise he’d probably vibrate himself into orbit. 

Chase, as usual, was a great calming presence. 

It was weird. 

Actually, it wasn’t weird at all. It felt... right. Every time Gou went to do family duties, to help Neesan with the cake, or to welcome another guest, or to pour drinks, either Chase was right by his side and helping too, or Chase was off by himself somewhere else and Gou found himself gravitating back to him. 

He listened when Gou spoke, and he asked questions, and gave his own opinions.

“’snice having you here,” Gou said during lunch, surprising himself. It was nice. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t said that to Chase before, though. 

Chase looked up from his spot on the floor, where he was carefully disassembling something that Shinnosuke had built into a kind of giraffe-shape. (It was supposed to be a crib.) 

“You do not- don’t find it a burden to babysit me?” he asked, voice deep and calm as usual. 

However, Gou could actually read a little bit of worry around the edges, and he placed his horrendously fluorescent pink drink on the coffee table before dropping to one knee next to Chase. 

“I’m not sticking with you because Rinna asked me to look after you,” he said. “She asked me to help out for a couple weeks, that was all. I swear.” 

“Oh.” Chase reached out and patted his knee. 

* * * 

**+14 weeks**

Gou put a hand to his mouth as tears sprang to his eyes immediately. 

“- to remember them,” Chase continued. He looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful, quiet place, in the midst of a clearing. Tall stately trees surrounded them and colourful leaves littered the grass beneath their feet. There were three ribbons tied around three trees, in black, green, and red. “I know they did not all die here, Gou, but I like to come here each morning to speak to them. To tell Medic about my health. To ask Brain to think about me. To tell Heart I miss him. It’s illogical, I know.” 

Gou shook his head, wordless for a moment, then he gave up and threw himself into Chase’s arms. 

Chase hugged him. Didn’t even take a step back. Almost like he was expecting it. 

“It is all right, Gou,” he said softly. 

Gou choked into his shoulder, “No, it’s not, and you’ve been doing this all this time, alone, and you’re showing me now, and I wanna come with you each day if you want me too... dammit, I love you, Chase, and I can’t believe you’re trusting me like this!” 

Chase held onto him while he cried, and Gou felt... felt what might’ve been a little shudder from Chase, too. This had to be hard for him, even though he didn’t express emotions quite like Gou did. 

He pulled back, eventually, redfaced and very aware of how awful he looked when he cried. “Sorry,” he murmured, with a shaky grin. “I meant it about coming here, though. If that’s okay. Come by yourself if you want, but I’ll come with you any time.” 

Chase blinked at him. “Did you mean that you love me?” 

“...yes.” 

“As a friend? A brother?” 

“Yeah, but not just.” 

Chase smiled suddenly, and reached out to take Gou’s hand. “I love you, too.” 

Gou started to babble. He hated it when he started babbling but sometimes he couldn’t _stop._ ”’Course you do! Who wouldn’t love this? I got you killed, I’m a mess, I look like-“

Chase helped him yet again, by stopping the babbling with a gentle kiss.


End file.
